That Sweet Feeling

I don't want to jinx myself or anything but guys and girls I met a man.  Not a boy, or a clown, but a fully grown, intelligent, sexy, funny as hell man.  They say it always happens when you least expect it, and it is so true.  While wandering around a book store in Washington DC, he just walked right up and started talking to me.

Like the Terminator, I was mentally, checking off all the qualities he seemed to possess, as he calmly made conversation.  Tall... check, sexy eyes, double check, husky voice, check, cocky smartass ding, ding, ding.  By the time I got to his Italian leather loafers and tan pleated linen slacks I was damn near convinced I was being "punked".  Things really started to take off when it became clear he had an Italian accent though by this time I did start scanning the bookshelves for a hidden camera. 

He asked me to go out for a coffee and even though it was a little scary, I thought about you guys and all the support you have given me, over the past few months, and decided to just go for it.  Conversation over coffee lasted 3 hours and it was a GREAT conversation, full of laughter and teasing.  Talking turned into a walk to the zoo and a dinner invitation.  I cannot believe how effortless it all was.  No electronic winks, or smiles, I did not need my girls to run reconnaissance for a speed-date exits, and no chatting or texting was involved.  Just two people who could not stop smiling, could not take their eyes off each other, and a conversation that spanned politics, religion and children.  All the taboo topics you are not supposed to bring up on a first date.

As I got ready for bed the evening we met, I coached myself not to worry if he never called, but to just be glad that we had met and experienced each other.  Even if we never saw each other again, at least I knew he was out there - a strong, funny, kind man who thought I was sweet an funny too.  I warned myself not to get my hopes up just in case, in reality, he had just been bored and had a couple hours to kill before picked up his wife... or maybe he was getting into character for a play and decided to pick up random women.  But when my computer chimed and I saw his IM, my heart beat faster... i felt the smile on my face, and nothing could dampen the delight that I felt when I read his words.  "Sweet dreams, until tomorrow."

Who knows where this will go, if anywhere, but for the moment I am going to luxuriate in the feeling... that intoxicating, rare feeling you get when you meet someone new and you click.  It's been a while, and it's been a tough summer so don't mind me if for a little while I smile for no reason, giggle on the phone and catch my breath when the phone rings.  I am wise enough to know this feeling is special and enjoy it just because I can. 

You're BALD!!

It's been a while, I know.  There has been some drama, relationships that failed, hopes crumbled, dreams dashed.  I have contemplated writing a book to teach men to lie better, cheat more effectively.  Not because I believe it is good to lie and cheat, but because I am disgusted with their limited capabilities in these areas.  The teacher in me wants to help them be better at it, especially when there is so much room for improvement.


Enter Litchell .  A man you have read about before, with a certain charm but not exactly Abraham Lincoln if you know what I mean.  In his mind, it seems that he finds his indiscretions and falsehoods to be quaint, cute little anomalies that women should overlook for the chance to get closer to him and his magic wand.  That he can look you in the eyes with straight and serious face, while demanding fidelity while rolling fresh from the scented sheet of some hoochie is hilarious and a bit sad.


Fortunately, I demand no such thing from the men I contemplate dating.  Observing the way they hide, deflect and excuse their poor behaviors is great insight into their character and lack thereof.  While dating Litchell it was always fun to watch him espouse the importance of commitment and its value in a "real" relationship, while getting caught in one lie after another.


So many times i dreamed about turning on him as he railed about the unfairness of how poorly he had been treated by a previous paramour and what a great catch he was by screaming, "Negro paaaleaze! I KNOW you are seeing other women.  Stop bullshitting me.  Do you know how I know?  Because your shampoo and conditioner is being used and YOU'RE BALD!"


What had become my own sad little inside joke was listening to him blather on about what an honest, true and good man he was and how he had suffered and learned so much from his previous relationships and would NEVER lie to another woman, all the while the shampoo and conditioner he kept in his shower evaporated like fuel in a Hummer driving at rush-hour in downtown D.C.


The only thing keeping me silent was the fact that other women might stand a chance of seeing him for what he is too as long as the shampoo kept going and going.  It was okay for me to take one for the team, so others might be saved.  If it was good enough for Jesus....