Saturday, April 16, 2011

litchell has an alter-ego

many of you may be aware that i have a love/hate relationship with one of the recurring protagonists in my blog litchell. recently, the man upon which much of the character was based received some disturbing responses from friends and family as a result of the blogs he was featured in, earlier this year. as it has became known that he was the man behind my incredibly cunning alias he was questioned by some close to him about the real role he played and the percentage of accuracy regarding the details released as the stories unfolded.

to say that litchell represents a composite of men that i and my friends have dated would be true, but it is also accurate that he is the soul and the spirit behind much of the work and certainly remains the inspiration for the character litchell. litchell is more about the best intentions that many of the men in my life possess. whether the women in their lives are hurt by their actions, words and behaviors, it can usually be said that their intentions began as good spirited. somewhere along the way they became "caught-up" in situations that got the best of them, and eventually, those situations caused them to lose people that once meant the world to them in their past. i am not going to go into how i feel about men being passive in the role they play in their own emotional and spiritual demise, in this post. but if you are familiar with my work - you know.

so it is with litchell that i attempted to create a viable fable that men can use to learn from as they get into one scrape or another. The man the character was based upon though is much more of a bear than a lion. he is a protector of his family and friends, he uses his wit, intellect and charm to engender those around him, and he is much more of a trusted advisor than imp. in my zeal to spread the word, and purge myself of old relationships i was less than gracious and certainly, no lady, in my recounting of our interactions. he advised me in no uncertain terms that i threw him under the bus (metaphorically speaking) and created difficulty in his relationships with his family. he is not someone who shares a lot of his personal life with those in or out of his inner circle so my soap-boxing created an uncomfortable and perhaps even unwarranted attention and speculation.

to those who might believe litchell and his inspiration are without redemption, know that he is a strong, caring, gentle, intuitive, thoughtful friend who has provided me with solace and support. i consider him a true friend and believe that even with his gruff exterior he would lay down his pride, sword, and best interest to aid those he loves. his heart is a bit tattered, his perceptions on women may need to be refined by a strong, loving women with the wisdom to nurture and cherish him. but he is worth the time and effort. while i would not be me if i recounted what i have written, i do regret making him feel as though i don't value him, his privacy or his reputation. all of these things are of paramount importance to me and i will tread gently, if at all, in the future whenever litchell is allowed to grace my posts.

great friends and good men are hard to find. when you do find one ladies, hold tight and remember cherish means

cher·ish

[cher-ish] Show IPA

–verb (used with object)

1.  to hold or treat as dear; feel love for: to cherish one's native land.

2.  to care for tenderly; nurture: to cherish a child.

3.  to cling fondly or inveterately to: to cherish a memory.

hello mouse

if there was something i could say to you
that might make your life easier
more filled with joy
love
stability
it would be that
little mouse,
you are loved.

in your life you will know the love of great women
strong beautiful women
who have experienced the joys and pains
and lived to tell the story.

your mother, grandmother, friends, cousins
aunts, and mentors.
these are women of quality
who care deeply what happens to you
and while it may seem like an impossible burden
to live now,
in this moment.
hold on, mouse,
hold on.

your heart may be breaking today
but right around the corner
just beyond your current grasp
is a life that has meaning.
it is not without its challenges,
but you always loved to be challenged.

so hold tight to your courage
gather your resolve
and pace yourself.
be strong, and never give up.
remember you are loved
you are worthy
and your importance
can only be measured
by your endurance, tolerance, compassion and
your ability to care, redeem and inspire.

be strong little mouse.
you are loved.


Thursday, April 14, 2011

THE WAY OF LOVE nothing ever hurt like you




for Love is patient and kind;
  driven me outta my fucking mind.







love does not envy or boast;
  but it can kill its host.
it is not arrogant or rude
 werd?

It does not insist on its own way
  but this thing has to have its own say;
it is not irritable or resentful;
  but losing it is damn eventful.
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,
but rejoices with the truth.
  and mis-spent youth.

Love bears all things,
  on fragile jacked-up butterfly wings
believes all things,
  the pain it brings sure stings
hopes all things,
  kills kings
endures all things.
  and still sings.

Love never ends.
  i guess that kinda depends
As for prophecies, they will pass away;
  lonely futures don't matter anyway.

as for tongues, they will cease;
  they can prattle on for peace.
 as for knowledge,
  broken hearts still go to college.
 it will pass away.
  please stay... please stay.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
  but a broke down heart is still a broke down heart,
but when the perfect comes,
  count your sums
the partial will pass away.
  and the whole will pay anyway.

When I was a child,
  love was defiled.
I spoke like a child,
  never paid to be mild.
I thought like a child,
  turned wild.
I reasoned like a child.
  painful heart filed.

When I became a man,
  pouring sand.
I gave up childish ways.
  lonelier nights. lonelier days.

For now we see in a mirror dimly,
  simply.
but then face to face.
  make haste,  
Now I know in part;
  love is but an upstart.
then I shall know fully
  fucking bully,
even as I have been fully known.
  love has degraded, cannot be owned
  may be cloned.

So now faith, hope,
  you gotta be a fucking dope
and love abide,
  run - hide!
these three;
and thee.

but the greatest of these is love.
  the four letter word
  best never spoken of.






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Corinthians 13 English Standard Version

The Way of Love


1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,a but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;b 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday, April 2, 2011

WHAT WILL HE SEE? fish 2 mermaid 0


ME

what will he see?
when he looks into my heart
will he see me?

when he stands before me,
eyes open
will he want what i am?
who i am?
all that i am?


what will he see?
when my body is writhing
and prone before him
my arms open, beckoning him
closer.
will he see me?
all that i have
what i am.

it is so brutally hard to smile
and laugh
to pretend my heart is still whole
one big unprotected
shard
of shattered glass
that cuts its way out of my own chest
as i look along the ground
for my cheerful facade.

SHE

it is gut wrenching to imagine
herman with a mate that is not me
a love that would be
more,
better, different
from the little mouse
who stands so proud
sassy, funny, strong
as she waits, patiently,
for his golden eyes
to behold her
and define her
and reveal her purpose
on this earth.

without the warmth and love
inside of his stare
as he gazes upon her golden, silky skin
she is truly a mere mouse,
a mermaid
alone,
forgotten.
separated from her purpose
her journey
to be made alone
with her talisman,
her only beacon
no other light to warm her
illuminate her uniqueness.

will he realize that what makes her
extraordinary
is the exact thing he dismisses?
will he see
the promise of their life,
fast-forwarding through time
as he looks for a life without
her warm, soft wet
kisses?

will he want a love
that is flawed,
when perfection swims all around?
will he see the beauty in the complexity of her
shape?
how her body, made for sin
glides through the water
yet remains unable to walk or dance?
will he feel the loss
when her love is
nowhere to be found?

THE

little mouse,
take heed and listen well
my song is for you
hear what i have to tell.
hold strong
to your heart
save your soul
from that fierce lion
stave yourself if you must
but never stop trying
to find your own way
or love another
because what you think is a
thriller
is not a hair pulling good-time
but the stalking of a
killer.