That quote is good to remember because we have to remember, even as children, growing is painful. Whether a child is getting new teeth, getting taller, young girls becoming women there seems to be this connection between growth and pain, real physical pain. So if that connection exists there must be a reason, and perhaps it is to ensure that we appreciate the opportunity to grow, and do not take it for granted, or become distracted by something that prevents us from evolving. If we believe that pain is important for physical growth, then it must be doubly so for spiritual growth. But the good news is that the pain is actually preparation for the growth, teeth push through gums so you can eat more robust, more fulfilling meals, bones stretching expanding so that you can bear more weight and stand tall and strong, and old relationships disintegrating to create awareness that we need to change and prepare ourselves for new, hopefully, healthier, permanent lovers that have yet to come.
Spirituality seems to always be about balance - the ying and the yang. Lessons in humility usually come from the embarrassment of hubris, if you want to learn charity, seek to be more generous, so it should come as no surprise that lessons on love may be derived from feelings of hate, abandonment and hurt. If we are self aware, honest about our motivations and behaviors we will SEE, UNDERSTAND and GROW. Lessons that seem repetitive and painful usually mean we failed to grow when we had other chances in the past. So we are given more chances, more pain, to allow us to see and understand our unhealthy patterns and hopefully, change and grow.
This is what I believe. My faith is based on the idea that life is about constant growth, evolution and improvement, with opportunities to redeem ourselves and others along the way. There are so many things about God and religion that confuse and frighten me. Yet I was never closer to God than when my father died. By far the saddest time period in my life and I was compelled to speak to God, longer, more often and with more specificity and awareness of his power and his glory than ever before or since. In fact, it is those times when my heart is so heavy that I look for God everywhere. So perhaps it's time for you to stop looking for the person who hurt you and who is not capable of giving you what you need to be the person you want to be and look to God for your next steps. I do not write that cavalierly, but seriously because it seems like we all get so "distracted" and need to wake up, focus and envision the desired path to whatever reality we want to be a part of in our future.
We must ask ourselves, are we serious people focused on developing the skills, traits and qualities that will enable us to unlock our fullest potential, or just people destined to be unenlightened and unfulfilled. I know it's hard to move beyond heartache, but ask yourself what does your heart ache for, because many times the person you yearn for never existed. If you were lied to, preyed upon, used and misled by a person ill equipped to be in any type of serious relationship. How could you miss that? - the relationship (built on lies and deception) and the person (who never revealed his or her true face, true motives, and personality to you). It may be that you miss the promise of what could have been, but you must move beyond that now, because that is the same as wishing for a fantasy. Prepare yourself for your destiny, become more self-aware, be honest with yourself about who you are and what you must do to grow, stop wasting time indulging in the daydreams about a person who never existed. Try to understand what motivates you to make the romantic choices that you have made and stop this unhealthy cycle. Only when you are ready to accept what you do to contribute to your own unhappiness will you be able to move forward with purpose.
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