Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Poking the Lion: Herman & Palmeda

Once upon a time there was a little mouse named Palmeda, she was tiny, but saucy and very strong willed. She was creative and saw beautiful colors, music and stories inside her head and always did exactly as she pleased and was constantly getting into some type of trouble or scrape with the other animals. Palmeda didn't mean to but their complacent manner bothered her, the way they merely accepted the status quo infuriated her, so she was often out on her own, searching for something; her nature made the other animals fearful and stay away from her. Her parents only had eyes for each other, always making love or fighting never a moment to consider how Palmeda was getting along, did she have enough food, enough water, was she warm, did she find a soft bed at night, did she feel loved and protected?


Fortunately, Palmeda was very self-sufficient, she was strong and used to taking care of herself. She was always curious, usually learning and often busy. One day after a particularly boring morning and afternoon, she was walking through the tall grasses of the jungle where she lived and she saw a small lake where a lot of the animals were gathered to drink. It was a very hot day, she was on her way to get some water as well when her instincts took over and the hair on the back of her tiny neck stood up. She froze and her heart was in her throat, it suddenly became silent and appeared that even the birds stopped singing. As she looked around trying to see what was the source of the danger - because one thing was for sure there was danger near her and it was extremely close by.

Suddenly as she looked into the tall grasses and her eyes became accustomed to the dimming light she realized that two beautiful green-golden eyes were staring out at the water. Then without warning her vision focused and she saw its face and she sucked in her breath as she understood it was a lion. Not just any lion, THE lion, Herman; the one that ran this part of the jungle. She had seen him before and her mother had warned her to stay away from him because he was very mean, and solitary. His one true love had been killed and since then he wandered and hunted on his own. It was rumored that he killed everything and everyone that came across his path. As he lay hidden in the grass, looking at the animals standing at the drink, Palmeda had a rare chance. She had a chance to look at him, really look at him and he was a beautiful, majestic, incredible sight to behold.

She had heard of love at first sight, but never believed in the concept. But now for the first time, she understood what it was like to see inside of someone in an instant. As she watched him, from the safety of her hiding place, she saw his eyes were lazy and hooded and his gaze was steady but casual, and his muscles were relaxed. Then suddenly, without warning he rose up and moved quickly, stealthily, silently and deadly. She was amazed how he went from just looking to standing poised and alert his eyes spying a weak animal; his prey and he was fixated on the animal. Palmeda felt a stirring in her stomach and it was unfamiliar and hot. My God, to be beheld by him in such a manner to be at the other end of that fierce gaze, if only for an instant. For a fleeting second she thought I would give my life to be looked upon with such intensity and fierceness. She stared as she wondered what it would feel like to finally be seen.

Palmeda realized which poor animal he was after and wanted to warn it but before she could move he leapt across the grass with a powerful growl and sped gracefully toward the animal. Palmeda wanted to close her eyes, turn away from him killing the smaller animal. But seeing Herman use the full force of his powers was too captivating she had never seen anything so primal and so exciting and she had lived in the jungle all of her life, she had seen a lot. Palmeda watched as he grabbed the animal by its neck and break it in an instant then carry its lifeless body with him back across the grass. Though she knew it was dangerous, still, she followed him. She told herself to leave him alone that he was too much for her he was too wild too exotic, that he was too beautiful, but she had never seen anything like him before and she was enthralled by him.

As the days turned to weeks, Palmeda followed Herman everywhere. She changed her sleep pattern just so she could be more attuned to his body rhythms. He was her earth, her air, her water, her food, she wanted for nothing as long as she could see him. Though soon it was not enough to simply be around him at a safe distance, she had to get closer, to see if it was possible that her dreams of him were real. She was worried that somehow she had imagined him. Palmeda had a very vivid imagination and it was not unusual for her to create friends or foes. Just to be certain, everyday she would get closer and closer and closer until one day she realized that he was vulnerable while he slept, and that if she were very, very quiet and careful she could tip toe up to him and sleep beside him and then awaken before he realized she was ever there. She could be near him and still be safe.

When she asked herself why it was so important to be so close to him she lied to herself and said that it was to prove how brave she was, to show that she was afraid of nothing. The truth was she loved Herman, he was the other half of her soul, she reveled in his power, his dominion over the jungle and the tenderness she had seen him exhibit in the weeks she had followed him toward small animals and his pride. Contrary to what she had heard, he was not brutal unnecessarily, but tender and kind when no one was watching.

One day when she was preparing to go to Herman, her mother watched her. Her mother that she thought was too preoccupied to notice that she was alive, let alone in love. But she noticed and she touched Palmeda's hand softly and hugged her tightly and said, "My beautiful dreamer, my adorable little mouse, haven't you heard, even a bird and fish can fall in love... but where will they build their nest, Palmeda?"

Her eyes large, she stopped in her tracks and looked at her mother's serious face. She spun away quickly and ran through the forest to Herman. Nothing would ever stop her from being his. He was everything she ever wanted in a mate and she would have him and he would have her. In some way, though she knew that while he was awake she could never truly be with him only in his most vulnerable state would she be able to steal a few minutes with him and then while he was asleep and unaware of her presence.

Palmeda knew she was playing with fire, that a beautiful, sexy, wild animal like Herman would never be interested in a tiny mouse what could she offer him, they could not mate, and they could not start a family, he would not be proud to show her to his friends or family so she made herself a promise. If she could have 30 days with Herman, she would be blissfully happy and if the gods would grant her that one wish she would sacrifice herself for their pleasure.

The first day she tip toed up to him while he was sleeping it took 2 hours just to reach his tail, and by then she was so exhausted she forgot to be terrified and just fell inside the circle of his fluffy tail and went to sleep. She was lucky that she woke up before he did and skipped back into the jungle to hide amongst the cool, dew filled grass and wait for him to wake up. When he did awaken she was reminded that she was intoxicated by everything about him. As she laid quietly on her back remembering her time with him she could recall his smell, the sound of his breathing, the feel of the heat coming off his strong body. She could hardly believe that she had been so close to him for hours and made it out safely and alive was incredible.

When evening came, and he began his normal routine, Palmeda immediately sensed that something was different, Herman was not himself, he did not hunt well, and hurt his foot while running. She wanted to go to him to lick his wound and take care of him. She wondered what was wrong with him, and could not put her foot on why he was so different but he was not his usual perfect self and she was worried. She did not know how, but she would follow him and if he needed it, she would protect him, somehow.

As the days went by almost every single day, she found a way to sleep in the warm safe circle of Herman's tail. No matter what horrors had transpired, during those heady days, and she suffered through much, things others could never begin to fathom, as long as she was safe with him for two hours each day her life had purpose and she could think and create and find happiness in the dark bleakness of her tiny existence. So each day she risked it all she put it all on the line, everything just for the chance to be next to him, smell him, taste him, hear his deep powerful breaths while he slept and feel the heat from his body.

He gave her so much, even without knowing it that it became important to give him something in return. Sometimes she would leave him presents, things a strong lion would need that others would not think to provide for the one who cared for so many, a soft pillow made from the softest flowers for his huge head, little berries that were sweet and juicy, and she sang his praises through the jungle far and wide.

Soon she forgot to be as afraid of Herman as she should have been, and she was not as careful when she approached him, or lay with him or left him gifts. Sometimes her boldness bordered on self-destructiveness. It was as though she wanted him to know who she was, that she was there all around him, wanted him to see HER, to understand that she loved him and cared for him. One day she was sleeping safely inside the circle of his tail and before she opened her eyes she felt the warm hot breath on her face. Before she opened her eyes she knew he was there, looking at her, her pussy was wet and she could feel the heat from his gaze all around her. She knew when she looked at him, she would be on the receiving end of his gaze, finally. As Palmeda slowly opened her eyes and she saw him, staring at her.

Though without fierceness, rather it was with a bemused and befuddled look on his face, a slight soft lion's grin. Though it was his eyes that told her everything, even with their casual perusal of her face and form, his beautiful golden eyes said, "I know Palmeda, I have always known you were there." Then he spoke, his voice, deep and velvety resonated and poured over her like warm honey. "Even when I did not understand why, I knew and I waited for you to tell me why, but each day you came and went without a word, and I don't understand why you would play such a dangerous game with me. I have asked around the jungle about you and they say you are crazy, you are different from everyone, all alone in the world, and no one cares for you." he stated in wonder, looking into the depths of her.

She opened her legs and closed her eyes as she began to feel the warmth spreading throughout her body. Listening to him speak as he gazed upon her was wreaking havoc with her emotions and her breathing. She could hardly think and barely formulate words. Herman tilted his head to the side then shuttered his eyes and said slowly, deeply, "I believe that I understand why you are here. You want me to end your suffering, your loneliness. You have heard of my ruthlessness and know I can help you so you won't be alone and afraid anymore. You want me to help you so the pain will go away."

Palmeda looked into those beautiful green golden eyes of Herman's and with tears in her eyes she said "yesssss, yesssss that is exactly what I want Herman will you please help me, I have waited my entire life for you, I dreamed of you and before I saw you I dreamed of the promise of you. To know that you are here in my world, in the jungle where I live and that you might "see" me, and that you would help me is more than I ever imagined was possible in my sad world. Honestly, I never thought you would care, I did not think it was possible for you to help me to take the pain away, thank you so much, I will love you forever." she whispered as she closed her beautiful sad little eyes tightly waiting to feel the passion of her lovers embrace.

Herman looked at her and cocked his head as if he could not understand the subtext of her message but he believed that understood the crazy little mouse well enough, he softly said "yes, Palmeda i will help you" and feeling compassionate, pragmatic and omnipotent, he opened his huge gaping mouth, and he ate her.

the end.

A bird and a fish can fall in love, but where will they build their nest?

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